Old People and newspapers

Some people need to get a life. can you imagine, waiting on your porch, in your pajamas at 6 am for the newspaper to be delivered. we had a major snowstorm, roads were treacherous, and people were calling"my newspaper is late" gee, ya' think? whiners ....most of my customers are really quite understanding, cripes, some didn't get their sunday paper till monday. then i have a guy holding my holiday tip hostage, until he gets his paper by 7 am. better hold his bird while he is at it, i don't pay ransom, and i am not a tip whore. I don't get up everyday at 1am to sit and wait for my papers to be delivered to me sometimes not until 3:30 am, brave the counties worst roads, deal with idiots going to work, all so i can get a christmas tip from him. he puts far too much emphasis on the importance of his tip. he sent me a card with an attached note, saying he would be delighted(he is from buck hill) to send me a holiday gift when he starts getting his papers by 7 am. bite my ass pal, man this burns me up, intolerant moron. anything that can go wrong will....flat tires, papers given to me late because of a press breakdown, or going to press late because they can't print without the football scores, rain, snow, falling asleep and wrecking my car, son getting conked on the head with a beer bottle...you name it...nevermind that his fricken paper was there every day in good weather on time. I'd like to tell him to shove his tip up his peepee hole cause that would hurt( i imagine) far worse than up his hiney hole.